The Reasons I Write

I'm back again, I know two posts in the same day--wow. But mainly, because I wanted to post another story and I didn't think they should go in the same entry.

More Instant Star, what can I say? I totally love it. This one is also out of the current timeline, since I wrote this before Jamie and Kat got together. It's Jamie finding out about Tommy and Jude.

Okay, I'm totally obsessed with Tommy/Jude, I'll admit that now. I just love them together. They're so hot and I just think they have great chemistry and I think they'd be good together. Besides, they give me lots of room for my muse to work since they aren't together on the show and I bet it'll be a long time coming.

I'll admit that one of my favourite things about fanfiction is taking the path not taken in teh cannon. I write a lot of "what if" stories, I'm not doign that yet with Instant Star, but it's a possibiliy in the future. I also like it when a lot is left unexplained, so I can make my own explanations and take it in the path that I'd like to see.

The fanfiction writer in me was born by this tendancy to read something and go "that's nice, but...." and decide how I'd like to see it go, or what I thought they were really thinking, or even how I thought something got to be. I like to fill in the blanks and change things as I choose to change them, it's what made me start writing fanfiction so long ago.

This one here, I don't really change anything (except for Jamie not dating Kat in this one), but I still like taking things in the direction I want them in. That's the joy of fanfiction, so here it goes. Another new piece by me, aren't you lucky?

Revelation
By Misha

Disclaimer- I don't own any of the characters of "Instant Star" (if I did do you think she'd be fifteen?), I don't know who does, but it's not me and I'm not making any money off this, so don't sue me.

Author's Notes- This is a short, twisted piece. It's told from Jamie's PoV, but it's Jude/Tommy. I don't even know what the inspiration for this one is, it just came to me. It's creepy and weird, but I think it's works. That's all for now, enjoy!

Paring- Tommy/Jude, unrequited Jamie/Jude.

Spoilers- Nothing, really.

Summery- One moment can make everything crystal clear.

Rating- PG-13

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It's a nightmare. It has to be.

Yet, it's not. It's real.

I'm standing here, watching Jude kiss little Tommy Q. I can't tear my eyes away from the sight.

They think they're alone, of course, otherwise they wouldn't be doing it. After all, the point of having a secret relationship is to not be exposed.

I came looking for Jude to talk to her. At least, that's what I tell myself. I know I really came hoping to see what I'm seeing.

I wanted my suspicions confirmed.

I've known for a while now. Though, I kept hoping that I was wrong. But I knew I wasn't.

This is my proof.

It's horrifying, yet fascinating at the same time.

I'm fixated by the sight of them. They fit together.

It's not just a little peck, I'm witnessing. This is a full blown kiss, one heading for adult territory.

Jude's pressed up against a wall, her head thrown back. One of his hands is on her waist, pressing her into the wall, the other is pressed up against the wall for balance. One of her hands is on the back of his neck, the other is in his hair. I can see she has one foot on the ground and other leg is bent up in the air a bit, her knee between his legs.

They're so close, you couldn't put a piece of paper through them. They're lips are joined, of course, but so are the rest of their bodies. It's a very sexy sight, yet oh, so wrong.

She's sixteen. I think I'm going to throw up. What are they thinking?

Besides, the fact that the whole thing is very, very wrong, it's also stupid. They're in a stairwell at a club, don't they think they'll be caught? I mean, there are a lot of people around.

I don't think they really care at this moment, though. It certainly doesn't look like it.

They finally pull apart, but they're still touching.

She's still cradled under the weight of his body, pressed up against the wall. Their foreheads are touching and it's obvious that they're talking, though I can't hear what they're saying.

I know that I have to get out of here.

I can't let them see me. I can't deal with that scene, it would just be too much. Talk about train wreck.

I take one last glance and tear myself away.

I was only standing there for maybe a minute, but it was the longest minute of my life.

Long enough to kill all my dreams of Jude.

It doesn't change everything, I still love her. Seeing her kiss Tommy doesn't change that.

But it does drill home the fact that I'm not gonna get her. I can't compete with Tom Quincy.

More than that, I don't really want to. If that's the kind of guy that Jude wants, then I never had a chance.

The worst part is, I don't feel like I know her. The girl in the stairway isn't the Jude I know and love, she's someone else and entirely and Tommy can have her.

I'll always love Jude.

But one horrible moment of revelation showed me something very important. The Jude I love doesn't exist anymore.

The End

There, again that one's kind of twisted, I'll try to right some that aren't depressing and dark, but it's not relaly in my nature. Maybe, that's another reason I like writing, TV obviously has a barrier of how much darkness they can show and I like to press that barrier.